Opening up

It's hard for me to be a vulnerable blogger. I want to express myself. I want to be informal. I want to be honest. But, I am afraid that if I show too much uncertainty, people won't want to hire me.

Ten minutes pass by. What do I say??

I am so grateful for the photographers who have "gotten there." I am grateful that they tell their stories. I am uplifted by reading their blogs from their early days. They were where I am now. The photographers I follow are all my age. How are they so far ahead of me? I sometimes wonder. Will I ever catch up? Deep in my heart, I know that it's not about that. I simply took a different path. After college, I spent 5 years doing background investigations for a government contractor. That field wasn't exactly conducive to creativity. After I quit in May 2007, I started my business. Why didn't I start doing weddings a year ago? I would be so much further ahead today. I kick myself for all the money and time I spent moving in the wrong direction. Deep in my heart, I know it wasn't the wrong direction. I needed that last year to become a better photographer. A Photographer. My skills have improved dramatically. Overly simplified: I went from Auto to Manual.

I'm mostly a one-woman-show. I have taught myself a lot by practice and long hours on the internet. Every now and then I find a site or a person who is willing to open up about how they got where they are to day. They save me from reinventing a few wheels. I was at Barnes & Noble yesterday, and found Anne Geddes' "Labor of Love: An Autobiography" on the sale rack. Look at how thick this book is! It's normally $50, but was just waiting for me on the sale rack at $12.98! I am ready to dive into the book this afternoon, Diet Cherry 7up in hand!
Ten more minutes pass by. I read early blogs from some of my favorite photographers for inspiration.

Here's the thing. I don't know how it will happen, but I know it will happen. As Dr Martin Luther King said, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." That's what I'm doing. I don't know how it will happen, but I know that it will, and it must. No doubt.